Christmas Creeps

Episode 21: Elves (1989)

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Joseph

Just in time for Thanksgiving, Joe and Jon take a moment to give thanks that all movies aren’t as inexplicably terrible as the 1989 Nazi-horror movie Elves, starring Dan Haggerty basically still playing Grizzly Adams. If this episode sounds like a scatterbrained mess, just know that that is 100% the movie’s fault for being needlessly dense and also unfathomably boring. Happy Thanksgiving!

Right-click to download! Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

You can watch this film in its entirety on YouTube.
The proto-Nazi symbol according to this movie.
The sordid history of the names of various Batman villains.
Robert Rodriguez and John Malkovich’s cinematic time capsule.
Krankometer Score: (0, -4)

All questions, complaints and requests can be sent to XmasCreeps@gmail.com!

Posted in podcast | Tagged 1989, horror, nazis, Santa | Leave a comment

Episode 20: Jack Frost

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Joseph

Just because Halloween is over doesn’t mean the Horrordays can’t continue! This week we’re taking one last dip into the spooks and scares of the season with Jack Frost. No, not the one where Michael Keaton comes back to life as a snowman who hugs kids. The one where a serial killer comes back to life as a snowman who kills kids. And adults. This snowman does not discriminate.

Right-click to download! Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

This film is available for streaming on Hulu.
Buy your own Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Awful Movie Pitch of the Week: Like Mike, But About Mumford & Sons.
Krankometer Score: (1, -2)

Posted in podcast | Tagged 1997, horror, Shannon Elizabeth, snowman | 1 Comment

Episode 19: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Posted on October 19, 2015 by Joseph

It’s Home for the Horrordays here on Christmas Creeps, and we’re celebrating all the holiday spooks and scares with a musical about the most popular guy in town and the job that he hates! It’s ~~Henry Selick’s~~ Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas!

Right-click to download! Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

The only Christmas ornament Joe owns.
For more George Carlin jokes, check out Napalm & Silly Putty!
Die Hard Origin Story on the Drawing Board.
We pitch a YA Final Fantasy film to Uwe Boll.

OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“Before Brad disappeared forever, the last thing I showed him was Terminator 2.”

Posted in podcast | Tagged 1993, animation, Danny Elfman, Disney, Santa, Tim Burton | 2 Comments

Episode 18: Gremlins

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Joseph

October is the season for all things spooky and monstrous, and for us that can only mean one thing: GREMLINS! Join us on a ridiculous 70-minute ride through Joe Dante’s 1984 classic about little green maniacs tearing up Ronald Reagan’s America.

Right-click to download! Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

Correction: Continental Divide was the first film produced by Amblin Entertainment. ET was #2. Gremlins was #3.

KRANKOMETER SCORE: (1, 4)

Posted in podcast | Tagged 1984, Chris Columbus, comedy, horror, Joe Dante, podcast, Steven Spielberg | 1 Comment

Shot Context: Dead Santas

Posted on September 27, 2015 by Joseph

Once upon a time, a couple of our internet buddies ran a blog (and later a tumblr) illustrating visual references between movies. Since neither is currently active, we submit these for your consideration.

jtt
I’ll Be Home for Christmas (1998)

Reindeer Games (2000)

The Santa Clause 2 (2002)

The tagline on the poster reads “What’s Christmas Fun without some Reindeer Games?”

Posted in blog | Tagged reindeer games, Santa, shot context, tim allen | 1 Comment

Episode 17: I’ll Be Home For Christmas

Posted on September 23, 2015 by Joseph

This week, the Creeps race across the country with college freshman/sociopath Jonathan Taylor Thomas in the 1998 Disney romp I’ll Be Home For Christmas, another holiday road trip where nobody learns anything!

Right-click to download! Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

This film is available for streaming on Netflix.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s 2015 tour promo.
DOG FART COUNT: 1
Movies named after songs.
The definition of a badbutt.

KRANKOMETER SCORE: (2, -3)

Report any wild Christmas Creep sightings to us immediately at XmasCreeps@gmail.com!

Posted in podcast | Tagged 1998, comedy, Disney, Gary Cole, Jessica Biel, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Santa | 2 Comments

Episode 16: Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas

Posted on September 9, 2015 by Joseph

It’s Labor Day, which means we’ve rounded the corner and officially entered the season of actual Christmas Creep. And what better way to celebrate the unofficial start of fall than with a cozy little film about hillbilly otters and their hootjug holiday?

Click here to download. Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

You can stream this film on Amazon Prime or YouTube
The Hallmark Channel’s Holiday Viewing Schedule
Trunk or Treat
Viking Metal

KRANKOMETER SCORE: (0,0)

Report any wild Christmas Creep sightings to us immediately at XmasCreeps@gmail.com!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 1977, HBO, Jim Henson, Muppets, musical, television | 1 Comment

Episode 15: Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever

Posted on August 24, 2015 by Joseph

This week, guest Drew Meyer drops by to force-feed us a big steaming bowl of Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever, a Lifetime Original Movie tailor-made for shilling Grumpy Cat merch to all you hapless holiday shoppers. Mreow.

Click here to download. Click below to listen now!

SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE:

More info about feline dwarfism.
Buy your very own Magic Wish Coin.
(Do not buy your very own Magic Wish Coin.)
Obscure Reference of the Week: The Food of the Gods.
Keep an ear out for all of Drew’s Cool Snake Facts.
THE GREATEST GIF OF ALL TIME.
Visit your local animal shelter today.

KRANKOMETER UPDATE:

This week, it suddenly occurred to us to score films on the Krankometer using X and Y axis coordinates. So if you’re playing along at home, Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever would have a Krankometer score of (0, -3), where the X-axis represents Entertainment Value and the Y-axis represents the Spirit of Christmas.

Let us know how we’re doing! Email us at XmasCreeps@gmail.com!

Posted in podcast | Tagged 2014, Aubrey Plaza, cat, comedy, Grumpy Cat, heist, holiday special, Lifetime, television | Leave a comment

Updates All Around!

Posted on August 12, 2015 by Joseph

Hi everybody! So a couple things have changed around here in the last week or two. The biggest is also probably the most obvious: We finally have a .com to call our own. ChristmasCreeps.com is open for business!

Second: Just yesterday, Johnny-5 informed me that the Twitter handle @ChristmasCreeps was newly available, so of course we snatched that right up. “Xmas_Creeps” was so inelegant.

Thirdly: As you can see, I’ve spruced the site up ever so slightly. The social media buttons are holiday colors now, which is neat. Maybe I’m the only one who cares/notices, but I like it.

…That…That’s pretty much it, actually. We’ve got a couple of fun episodes scheduled in the near future, and I’m really excited to knock those out and share them with you. Other than that, it’s back to school time now, so the season for actual Christmas Creep is closer than you think. When we spot some out in the wild, you’ll be the first to know!

So hang tight, enjoy some holiday movies, and thanks for reading/listening!

Posted in blog | Tagged blog | Leave a comment

Episode 14: Christmas at Peewee’s Playhouse

Posted on August 10, 2015 by Joseph

This week, the Creeps attempt to wrestle some sense out of Peewee Herman’s 1988 Christmas special, resulting in one of our least coherent episodes yet. True story: Our original idea for this week fell through because the internet is garbage, so we had to come up with and then resort to Plan B. So if you think this week’s episode is dumb bad nonsense, email us and tell Johnny 5 all about it. Anyway, on with the show!